Today I found myself wondering how low I can go, which is a struggle with my 6'7 frame. It being a Monday morning, of course I had to take a massive amount of calls with people waiting and getting more annoyed in the queue all the time. With my salary overdue I tried getting £30 back from a web saver account, but cannot access it as both opening or closing an account requires I identify myself at a branch. Putting £30 in it on line to open it had been easy, but my money is Halifax's it appears, until I get a renewed passport. I may have to grab a bus on loaned money later this week, how fabulous. Also, last night, my father called me at home and I belatedly congratulated him on his birthday I had forgot. I never had forgotten a birthday in my life so I felt right rotten, but it was worse when he told me he recently recovered from a severe pneumonia. I had had no idea. Thirdly, my team leader expected a wee report on her desk today with my plans to come late a lot less often, and my application for a role as trainer on the job. I had had over a week to think about both but I kept the document short: "Still depending on public transport, all I can do is grab the very first bus each morning and hope for the best - and so long as my lateness record doesn't improve I suppose I haven't earned career progress." Great going, of course. Around the late morning I experienced a little blackout while on the phone with a forgettable customer, dealt with the issue quickly and then walked to the bathroom - blanking everyone underway. To bite back a few tears. It's been a while since I've become overcome with emotion.. But on getting a fresh nose outside I wondered if I couldn't go any lower and get more stuck in a repetitive life, with less family and friends still, less travel, less writing, less money and less power than I've already lost.