The English are twats and arses. They're either fox-shooting, SUV-driving conservative floppy-haired teabags - or beer-guzzling, loudmouth hooligans and pregnant teens. "Effete arseholes" as Ewan McGregor put it in Trainspotting.

I am however happy that Liverpool beat AC Milan tonight, in the Champions League final. Liverpudlians are the most Irish of English, like Northerners are the most Scottish of English. The least buggered up, so to say. It's good to see this once-great city (Titanic, Beatles, Liverpool of the eighties..) liven up again. It'll be the cultural capital of Europe in 2008, so Yoko Ono hung pictures of her naked breast on every lamppost in town. Everton finished 4th, Liverpool 5th, and both will play in Europe for years to come I'm sure. Liverpool ousted Chelski, came from 3-0 down against Milan.. And I partied with some Irish in Nijmegen.